Brow Police: 2016 Academy Awards Edition

This BDB
Brow Police blog post is being composed in real time as I watch the 88th
annual Academy Awards show live from Dolby Theatre in nearby Hollywood,
California. Chris Rock is pulling no punches when it comes to addressing the
racial controversy surrounding this year’s Oscar nominations.

Vikander just won the Best Supporting Actress award her role in The Danish Girl (2015). It makes sense
to us—we love her naturally pretty, fresh-faced look; we just wish her brows
were a LITTLE bolder.A touch of taupe
Brow Powder would make all the difference.

(Is it ironic
that there was a sound glitch when they were presenting the award for sound
editing? Sorry, I told you this edition of BDB Brow Police is being composed in
real time.)

The show is
about at the halfway point right now and Mad
Max: Fury Road
(2016) has pretty much cleaned up in all the technical
categories (as jokingly noted by Louis CK). I can’t really comment on intense
technical details, but check out Charlize Theron’s thin, but MUCH improved
brows in the film. She’s come a long way since she was previously issued a Fix
it Ticket by the Brow Police.

Mark Rylance
Just won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in Bridge of Spies (2015).

The Brow
Police are confounded by his brows. They are bushy and full…where he has them.
Rylance really needs to re-grow the entire middle portion of his brows so he
doesn’t look perpetually worried. Compare his brows in the film (where a
worried look is a boon) to his brows tonight. Still looks worried.

Mark, Brow Boost is for men, too.

Score for
Best Director Alejandro Iñárritu for The Revenant (2015)! But, we’re issuing a full citation for the
straggly stubble between his brows. No worries, Alejandro; BDB has a new kit
just for men coming out VERY soon. It contains tweezers. Another score.

And the Best
Actress award goes to…Brie Larson for Room
(2015)! Know what? We think she nailed it in the brow department, too. Her
brows have a great shape, we just wish they were a TINY bit darker. A bolder
set would make Brie’s face stand out.

Leo DiCaprio gets his Oscar! His performance in The Revenant (2015) could not be ignored by the academy! Leo? The
Brow Police give you a thumbs up, too. We love how your crazy stragglers helped
you nail the role in the film AND how polished you looked during the ceremony.

That’s it
from the Brow Police tonight. We’re here to serve and protect the brows of
every man, woman, and child.

Remember, incredible
brows are a right, not a privilege.

Cheers, BDB

The source | Compaign 35

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