Thursday, January 22nd, 2015


True Patriot Love

by Haley Mlotek *a single tear falls from my eye as I solemnly start singing the Canadian national anthem. 1 Comments

It Is Finally Midsummer

by Jenny Zhang butterflies with translucent orange wings make kissy faces at my half liquid turd the only reason I shat in the grass is because I feel combative and entitled I would seek romance at every turn but I’m too entitled I know these two notorious hags who give the greatest blowjobs their cowabuuuuungie promises make me shit blood so sharp I cut lesions thru the pissed-on flowerbeds the jungle floor sings so sweetly the animal kingdom grows greener and greener “at least ten percent goes to a charityRead More

5 Moments in the Life of a Black Mother

by Hope Wabuke At library storytime, the white librarian comes up to you and says that she has the best picture of your son making a craft, and, excited, you ask her to show you. So the white librarian flips through her iPad and then finally, triumphantly, shows you a picture of the only other black boy who has ever been to storytime who looks nothing like your son, who is two years older than your son. And you realize that, to this white educator, all black boys look alike—areRead More

Who Said It: 46-Year-Old Marilyn Manson or My Stoned Alt 19-Year-Old Cousin Lester?

by Anna Fitzpatrick a) “I’m taking my gloves off now, which could be a sign of danger.” b) “Words are just words. But to some people, they’re not just words. When they’re very fundamentalist, and whether it be Christian or Islamic or whatever it is, some people can not take jokes.” c) “I really wanted to flip my entire world upside down, have heaven upside down instead of hell. I just wanted to change things completely.” d) “I just pack a fucking can of whoop-ass with me in my pocketRead More

No More Bad Hair Days: The Perfect Hair Solution

by The Hairpin Sponsors Brought to you by Aussie. All girls know that true beauty takes work. And when it comes to our hair, all girls are guilty of obsessing way too much on obtaining the perfect tightly pulled back ponytail or effortless looking beach babe waves. If we can’t get a sleek style going, count us out of the plan. We’ve all been there. But Aussie has a solution. Aussie offers a full range of products that give you great hair for less effort! Stop obsessing and learn moreRead More

Kim Kardashian: Trapped in Her Own Game

by Jazmine Hughes “More like KardashiCAN’T. You are pathetic. You try to destroy me and then lie about it to my face. Well, Kim, if you like your game so much, why don’t you play it…FOREVER.” “What do you mean?” Kim said “I actually do already play it every day. If you add me on GameCenter there’s a special limited edition dress coming out that I can send you. It costs like 150 K-Stars.” “Stick your K-Stars up your ass, Kim, you’re going to need them. I’m sending you toRead More

Ask Baba Yaga: What Do People See In My Boredom?

by Taisia Kitaiskaia Transcript after the jump. Dear Baba Yaga, People sometimes tell me I look upset when I’m really just bored. Do they see something in me that I am blind to? BABA YAGA: Boredom is like the rot in a wet stump-top: the rain, gathering in that little well, makes possible the decay the cells are given to. ,What is it in you that makes you stagnate so easily? ; Stir the dead water & watch deep. Previously: How Can I Feel My Feelings? Taisia Kitaiskaia is aRead More

Ariana Grande to Perform at Halftime During NBA All-Star Game!

Ariana Grande is taking her soulful vocals to the basketball court. E! News has exclusively learned that the 21-year-old singing sensation is going to perform during halftime at the NBA…

Jennifer Lopez: “There Are Worse Movies Than Gigli!”

Neither Jennifer Lopez nor Ben Affleck will ever live down Gigli. When the romantic comedy was released 12 years ago, critic Richard Roeper said Gigli was “a disaster” and…

Is cancer – it’s just bad luck?

Cancer is constantly supervised the study and researchers all over the world. Recent results of the study showed, that smoking, smog, poor nutrition increase the risk of cancer. But a major role is played by His Majesty the Case, if we assume, cells spontaneously mutate. Each case of cancer arises from the interaction of chance, environmental influences and genetic predisposition. Is This […]

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